So, you have a sink full of dishes. The counter next to the sink? Also dishes. Basically, there’s not a clean dish to be had and it’s time to face the music.
Motivation, from the most basic definition, is an external force that inspires us, not a driving force that comes from within.
I can’t give you the answers, because you already have them. But I’d love to help you uncover them, because I have some experience in what that feels like, in how hard the journey can be, and how good it feels when you get there.